Jumble-aya.

I am very much excited. I don't know what to put up on the notices saying I'm looking for people to share the place, I don't know if they'll be nice, cultured human beings, I don't know what's going to happen.

Chances are I won't get the place, but I'm gonna keep trying anyhow. Ain't no way I'm staying in that cupboard for a year! XP

...

Also, cravings. More of the craving-to-make than craving-to-eat this time around.

• Homemade marshmallows.
• Honeycomb brittle.
• Pavlova.
• Roasted garlic potato soup with bacon bits.
• Bacon-wrapped garlic basil shrimp appetizer.
• Chocolate chip cookies.
• Macarons.
• Char siew.
• Boss's layered mango cheesecake dessert thing.
  

Most of which I will have severe difficulty making due to the lack of equipment. Like say a candy thermometer. Or a grill. Or talent. *downcast eyes*

...

Oh and I looks like a Chinababy now. :D

...

Am still stunned over imeem being defunct and all now! Why does it seem that all good things must come to an end. :(

I wonder how the poor founder must feel.

Am severely missing playing Itsumo Nando Demo on loop for hours and hours! So now I'm reduced to singing the thing on loop for hours and hours. (Level of actual talent is subjective.)

Yondeiru muneno dokoka okude
Itsumo kokoro odoru yume wo mitai
Kanashimi wa kazoe kirenai keredo
Sono mukoude kitto anataniaeru

Yeah okay so that's the only verse I know. But that's not my fault now is it. Stupid MySpace. XP

...

I'm still not really getting into the Facebook craze. Sure, it promotes my unhealthy obsession with stalking people and that's undeniably fun. But yeah, don't see how people feel the need to spend half their lives in front of the comp just because of it.

I must be missing out on something.

Someday I will love myself enough to post up 1,000 pictures of myself, just like everybody else.

I May Have Died And Gone To Heaven

OMG HE SAID YES!!!

HE SAID YES!!!

:D :D :D

DID YOU HEAR ME?!?!

Hee. :D

He says I can come see the place after Christmas. :D

I is so excited can!! *menari-nari*

Quick! Tell Me If I'm Crazy.

So disappointed!

I thought I could look for a real, human accommodation, as opposed to the tiny cupboard at the HELP Residences.

Went to three houses today:

House #1:
Old, run-down, kinda filthy, very very messy, with wires taped down all over the floor, dust all over the windows, really old cupboards, a kitchen that could qualify for a dai chaw place, and mattresses crumbling to bits. Oh, and posters of stars from the 70s pasted all over the walls. And the potential roomie is a slob. And my mom calls me a slob. Oh the children she has not seen. RM350.

House #2
Also old, also run-down, a little less filthy, but the rest of the place looks almost like the first. And no roomie yet but unless you get one you pay RM700. Next to a kindie. *gasp*

House #3
Found impromptu. A little less old and run down, and potentially not as filthy, if any of the occupants cleaned up after themselves. Funky-smelling. And noisy 'cause of the traffic. A lot cheaper. RM450 private room.

Okay, I never imagined I'd say this but the Residences are so much more suited to human living! I would be living like a peasant with everything microscopic-sized but at least everything would be new-ish and clean!! (or at least as clean as me and my roomie will be)

Those student houses can barely pass for pigsties! How can they live like that! I couldn't resist the urge to clean up despite me not even living there. Absolutely filthy, messy, unorganized places to live, if that's what they're called!

And then I saw it.

Desa Bistari.

It's effing perfect! Okay so it won't be furnished macam itu and I probably don't need a place as fancy as this but even shared with like what, 4 other people this place is awesome!

I don't mind! As long as they aren't advocates of slovenly living.

(okay I know I'm dreaming almost sky-high now, but lemme go on)

I want it so bad! I want four other people who also want it so bad!

But I spoke to the guard and he scrunched up his face at the fact I was a student looking for accommodation. He was under the impression that all student tenants are delinquents who throw wild parties and disturb the neighbours or bring mansluts in and compromise the safety of a family condo. *snort*

I just got Facebook yesterday, Uncle. I am in a social coma. So don't worry.

OMGOMGOMG I'm so excited!!

But I haven't called the guy yet! I really really, really really x2010 want this place.

Now of course comes the question of how I am going to find 4 other willing people to share the place.

Wow. I sound crazy even to myself.

Yup, still want it. ;P

The Chronicles of Facebook.

OMG I'm in the middle of getting Facebook!

At last!

Sending out friend requests is so weird.

What if I remember them but they don't remember me? What if I thought I knew them but actually I don't? What if I miss out somebody and they get offended and burn down my house? What if..?

Okay okay getting on with it. Feeling really weird since I haven't made an effort to speak to most in a while. :S

Oh wow. I just realized I dont take a lot of pictures of myself. Good ones at least. :P Shall steal from Cathy.

Oh wow people actually approved me. And it seems I accidentally friend requested people I don't know. And they still approved. Whew.

Oh wow it turns out all you suns of beaches lied to me. It's really complicated!

Now I'm just sitting here staring afraid to touch anything for fear it may blow up in my face.

Sifu Sylvea I need you!! :S


(edit)
Oh wow stalking people is really fun! Who cares if I haven't figured out the other stuff. I think there will soon be a law protecting you guys from me.

OwO Always.

ARGHHHHH!!!!

Po: But dad, didn't you ever, I don't know, want to do something else? Something besides noodles?
Mr. Ping: Actually, when I was young and crazy, I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu.
Po: So why didn't you?

Yeah, why didn't I!

Mr. Ping: Oh, because it was a stupid dream; can you imagine *me* making tofu? [laughs airily]

I don't wanna have to ever say that to my son.

I WANT TO MAKE TOFUUUUUUU

:(

...

Staying at home sneezing my balls out is really, really fun. *sniffle*

Whinerbaby.

I am having a reasonably severe case of pre-uni jitters.

Everything from academic performance, to living alone, to getting along with my roommate worries the hell outta me. Amongst other things.

But then again pre-college I was worried them big mean KL kids would trip me up and pee on me. Daily.

So I guess I'll survive.

I pray.

I pray and hope beyond hope somebody will give up their single room to me soon, or that I'll earn enough points to do a 1+2 and not have to even think about living in a private cupboard at all. Please oh please oh PLEASE dear Lord.

Until then I have to practice.

"Nihao."

"War how."

"Da jia hao."

...

Oh, and here's a pic of my "cupboard". This is on the HELP webbie; it says this is Deluxe, but from what the girl showed me the other day, the Standard (which I'll be getting) looks pretty much like this.

Oh, and this is the view when you open the door and barely step inside. The fridge-sized bathroom is on the right.

Loverlie, isn't it.

And my peasantlike living shall be supported with an unbelievably meager allowance.

Yes I complain a lot.

Please oh please neurons I need you so.

...

I shall be returning to work tomorrow! And Friday! And Saturday! *tralalalala*

So until then...

Nihao, everyone!

(hmm that's not quite right is it.)

Oh yes. Pix sourced from here and here.

TEEHEE!

"Jyeh."

"Vart"

"What is DotA?"

"It's a silly comp game that geek boys in China like to play. Stick to your PS3."

"No lah! It's cool! See, Yang lemme download."

*smacks forehead*

"What I mean is, what does DotA actually stand for?"

*scoff* "Play game can dunno name one meh."

"I think it's [something silly and totally salah which I have forgotten] but just checking lah."

"Hah! Where'd you get that one! It's not lah stoopid."

"You so smart then you tell me la."

"Stupid."

"........... You don't know, do you."

"Of course I know. You think people stupid like you ah."

"Then what is it."

.

.

.

.

"Dead or Totally Alive."

...

Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is a book on crack. Seriously.

...

I traipsed around a certain prospective college today. With my PARENTS. *buries face in the sand*

There were. So. Many. PEOPLE. *groans*

Oh, what I would have given to have disappeared on the spot.

*sigh* I have decided on something logical, viable, and safe.

You guessed it.

Instead of something fun and exciting, and to heck with career prospects. *draws circles in the sand*

And looks like any chance of it becoming even remotely fun and exciting has been shrouded in the gloomy cloud of financial limitation.

And I STILL don't have a place to stay! The hostels sound like... rooms to sleep in. Very. Expensive. Rooms to sleep in.

And *gasp!* a room mate! What about privacy to do things like say, pick my nose, fart and twirl about??

...

(edit: 26/11)

Just went through piles and piles of A-Level crap desperately searching for necessary documents... Heh.

Just too heavy-hearted to throw them out I guess, looking at the "illustrations" we made on each other's notes. (paid such undivided attention in class now, didn't we.)

I am such a sap.

I've come to realize that at every turning point in life, you will meet new people, love them to bits, and then end up leaving them behind and probably never seeing them again for the rest of your natural life. And then the cycle repeats itself again and again and goes on and on like a bad dream... Like them reruns of Friends.

*sigh*

And that's why I need to get myself Facebook yeah? *twiddles thumbs*

...

I don't know why most people perceive leadership as having to yell at people all the time. As an employee, you are eager to please and want to get the job done as best you possibly can. So why don't managerial people see that? All that grinding and public humiliation isn't going to make them function better, you know.

Which is why I am eternally grateful for my first experience. :)

So come, let us celebrate with a poem.

Hahahahahahhahah.

...

Oh. Watched Twilight today. So many people brought their kids wtf. They kept whining and sorta spoiled the whole experience. *sulk*

No, I was not there to watch the live-action adaptation of a bestselling vampire romance novel. Nor was I there for the rich and engaging plot or awesome acting.

If I remember correctly, the movie was completely pointless except for one thing:

Fanservice.

And I confess: I was there for the underage, topless and ripped werewolf action.

Why was it necessary for the wolf-boys to be running about in the rain wearing nothing but shorts and shoes? Why was it necessary for Jacob to not wear a shirt for most of the movie? Why was it necessary for Edward to expose his sparkly abs in public?

And then I realize I really don't care.

:D :D

Not when a good three-quarters of the movie features THAT.

I sure wish I had a superbuff underage werewolf bestfriend who looks like Taylor and has this propensity to walk about in the rain half nekkid

What more reason do you need, really!? Go watch it already. :P

PS: Yes I know what DotA is. *roll eyes* Obviously my brother has become harder to trick since the days I could convince him he can breathe underwater with his ears.

Did I mention that we have a deep, mutual respect for each other?

Cheesus.

Eek! Jehovah's Witnesses! Run! Hide! *slams door*

I know it's rude to cut people off before they've even had a chance to speak, but seriously now. Door-to-door preaching will scare the bejesus outta ANYONE.

...

I'm not sure if Tequila knows if Leeloo is gone now; but her separation anxiety's back. *sigh*

We buried her in the back yard next to the willow tree that marks Rico's resting spot.

I keep her collar.

...

The shop has new cheesecakes! Which sadly I did not have the opportunity to try because greedy people wiped them off the shelves before I got there. T__T

Oh well.

...

Off to make some potato bake. :D Been craving potatoes for a while now.

Last week's quiche was pretty darned good. But all cheesy, artery-clogging goodness must be taken in moderation*cough*

...

Quick poll: You see a guy obsessively reading all four volumes of Twilight. Perfectly alright or 100% ghey? I was having an argument and am determined to be right. :P

Gone Too Soon

My baby left us about ten minutes ago.

She would have turned four on April 23rd.

She's curled up in a box in the back yard.

Her sister has no idea.

We'll start digging at 7am.

I'm sorry I didn't try harder baby.

Oh, and fuck you, you sick bastard for poisoning my dog. There's a special place in hell for pup-killer assholes like you.

THEY CANCELED THE BLOODY EDUCATION FAIR.

Stupid @#$%!@#$@!#!@@#!

PS: Who else feels like killing Sylvea Chan for deleting her blog for the 10,000th time

God's Idea of a Social Experiment?

These past few days have been particularly "religious", so to speak.

Because of the prayers for Grandma who has left us, and the very Catholic people who have come nightly as spiritual support, I have been able to overhear and participate in spiritual discussions.

The conclusions of which I shall not disclose here, for fear of another heated session of preaching.

The thing is, I am not an atheist; I believe in The Big Guy upstairs, and it is possible he has little helpers in many forms (hey, you try and create the world without help), and it is possible there is an afterlife, and a rebirth. Hopefully. If not,

"Say a prayer,
But let the good times roll
In case God doesn't show"

I do believe He'll show, but since He loves us and all I highly doubt he wants us to not be happy. Unless kidnapping and torturing people or bitching around floats your boat.

Whether or not He shows, hey, at least be prepared to say you've lived a full and happy life. :)

The thing is that I'm not sure the Word is authentic or not; it was written a bajillion years (I'm sorry I'm not entirely historically accurate) ago, by several hundred different people, and in about fifty different languages, published in a country not of its origin, etc etc.

Can you imagine the inconsistencies?!?

Of course, the bajillion years has also contributed to the fact that many arsewipes have sought to use it to manipulate minds and for politics and yadaa yadaa and so the whole concept is pretty much warped beyond repair.

Call it a failed project if you will, contributed by the very nature of ours: the capacity of free will. There is the best and the worst in us; but it is our choices that make us who we are. Nobody is capable of not sinning ever, so I doubt any of us should be in the position to judge. Unless some guy murdered 18 people or something lah, in which case he should be strung upside down by his ankles and have rancid durian pelted at him.

Anywhoosers, if we were really meant to KNOW, we'd all be sainted and the world would eat rainbows and poop butterflies.

But it isn't, and I think it'd just be a great start if we could just stop digging up differences to get heated up over; it's so ridiculous!

"Your Bible is different from my Bible/Quran/Torah/etc. Therefore I dunwan to friend you." (putting it simply; but it does sound that stupid, doesn't it.)

"We Protestants are not like you Catholics. We don't pray to God's mother, grandmother or aunty all." (this is entirely quoted and yes, actually uttered by a real human being)

"God said not to make any images!! You heathens!!" (albeit exaggerated, but also true. Hence it should mean all artists' works are demonic and evil.)

Kids tend to think that "misusing the name of God" means exclaiming, "Oh my GAWD!" which would make me the biggest sinner of all time. Which is totally stupid but we forgive them because they are children.

I would see it as using the Scriptures as excuses to start hating people.

"You cabbage-eater barbarian! Die!! *killkillkill*"

Look, I know life is hard, and your boss isn't being very fair, and your kid is smoking pot, and you're just very frustrated and want to take it out somewhere, anywhere; but really now. Grow up. XP

"Why do you want to ask which denomination I come from? No need to ask la. It just makes us hate one another. We're all children of God after all."

The wise words of then-13-year-old Elizabeth. ;)

Gah, it's too early in the morning for such heavy topics. Will go back to sleep now; woke up at 5 gungho-ly.

Anywhoosers, I will be going to MV a little later; will drop by and see my loverlie peoples at the shop and head for Education Fair 2009 (last day tomorrow!) and (*whine*) search for options.

Charsiew again or another attempt at roti? Stupid roti never turns out for me. *pout*

I NEED A PLACE TO LIVE PEOPLE!! Grr.

Greatest Moob Dance Of All Time.

31st October was my last day at work. I kinda miss it already; my colleagues, Boss, fave customers... not to mention the hunky sweethearts who waltz in to buy desserts for their sweethearts.

*sigh*

I hope I'm there to see everyone I know and love there achieve their crazy-ass dreams. :)

***

Bye Grandma.

(03.06.1936 - 1.11.2009)

Found some old pix of her when she was younger while we were looking for one to place on the engraving plate.

She was one hot babe. Phewwit.

***

Time to face the future; yet again.

*whine*

Do I really have to...?

***

It would be a CRIME not to share this with you.

I usually think wrestling is retarded, and naturally condemn watching it, but hey, I have a younger brother.

And when you find gems like these, well, can't say I can complain.

Random, Disjointed Rabble

I can't decide which I want more - being able to wear anything I want and not puke at my reflection in the mirror, or eat anything and as much of it as I want with reckless abandon. :(

***

Currently thinking of A Troll In Central Park. Probably the gayest movie I've ever enjoyed.

***

Okay, cravings.

• Char koay kak. Piping hot with chives and salty-sweet preserved radish pieces and the whole shebang. Melaka road trip, anyone? :D
• Popiah chee. No more cravings for I'm making these babies soon.
  
• Pietee.
• For some strange reason, Rotiboy. You know, with the butterscotch centre. *stomach gurgles*
• RJ braised chicken with fried garlic rice swimming in charsiew sauce. Oh man oh man that stuff is to die for.
  
• Char koay teow.
  
• Peanut pau! Which nobody seems to sell wtf
• That deep-fried glutinous rice ball with peanut filling (the name eludes me)
• Yam basket! With kung po kai ting. Or kung po frogs' legs. That'll work.
• BreadStory. Oh yeahhhh
• Bakkwa
• Siewpao
• Old style butter cupcakes
  
• Rice
• Sweet stuff from the office... Like the peach stuff... Which they always seem to make on days I ain't workin... Hmph. Wish the peach stuff was made with the ginger cake tho-

OMG STOP!!!

How la liddat. If I had just one wish, I'd wish that every excess calorie I had would go to some starving child in Cambodia (because I think Cambo's are cute). See, that way I'd get to help someone needy and have my cake! Literally. Bah! So much for daydreams. *sulk*

***

On the to-do list!

• Popiah chee
• Lor bak
• Pumpkin soup
• Char Siew
• Get Link's ass to Hyrule Castle (whaaat?! I like that game.)
• Buy a new mouse. Stupid thing is spazzing out.
  

Made a one-pot chicken rice thing today. Not too bad; it'll prolly end up a college-days dish for its simplicity. The new Shiitake mushrooms are DISGUSTING! Must get yummier ones.

And oh god do I lurve my Microplane. I love it to bits. Grates ginger like magic! No disgusting chunks to bite into. God, I love my Microplane.

***

I thought I could take Psychology as my pick but apparently they need me to do MATH?!?! Wtf. The hard kind summore. Oh well.

Probably not for me anyhow. I'd tell all the emo suicidals to just go ahead and do it and save the bother of making everyone go through their misery.

OH WHAT WILL I DO WITH MY LIFEEEEEEE

Urgh I might probably really end up picking something safe and disgusting like Accounting.

Why can't I be something exciting like, the chick version of Hugh Hefner (won't you ladies adore moi. Toyboy Mansion woot!), or berdrama on TV, or be a biofuel tycoon who makes my gazillions selling pig shit, or own an international charkoayteow franchise, or become WangLeeHom's tai-tai? Why?! WHYYYYYYY

Because I live in the real world, right? Sigh. *picks at fingernails*

FLUFF.

Wow. That most be the first one-word title I've ever used.

Not that I have anything against one-word titles. :P

But I digress! For today, I am supposed to share FLUFF! As in FLUFF!

It's a love story
Baby just say
Yes

Yeah. That kind. :3

I know I've been whining a lot about how nasty people can be at work, but I've never mentioned that it is also the place where truly lovely people can be found. Not just my Boss and colleagues (we'll save that for another day), but customers as well.

See, people usually save our pretty pastries (ooh look alliteration!) for special events, so they're usually sweet people who care enough to plan in advance for that special occasion for their loved ones. Aww. And I swoon every time a man comes in and says "I was just looking at your cupcakes and thinking of... uh, someone... She loves these things!". Never mind if it's his boyfriend he's talking about. 'Cause that's just plain darn sweet.

So now I say it's officially unfair that men equate everything to sex. Unless of course the equation goes something like this:

Cupcakes = she likes! = she happy! = shehornywanttofug

Then it'll be a bit disappointing la. But I'm going to have faith in the human race today.

But anyway! Cutest love story evarrr!

This guy right, he came in, and bought a dessert for his chick, and said,

"I have a special request to ask of you. When she comes in, could you give her this? *holds out and envelope* Ask her to read it immediately, then tell her, 'SMS him.' She will understand. She's not allowed to call! That will give her the location of the next clue."

OMG sofa king cute can?!?!

So me and Jeansie were like swooning all over the place despite ourselves and were totally dying to see what she looked like!! (if she was ugly and totally bitchy and undeserving of him then we could cry over another perfect man lost. But she wasn't.) She came in a salmon pink dress and wowwee, was she purty. She was smiley and excited and totally cool and sporting about her dude sending her on this crazy treasure hunt. We gawked at her through the frosted glass panels and I was jumping up and down and squealing,
"OMFG that's so cute! OMFG that was so farking cuteeee!!! I think he's gonna propose!! OMG so cuteeeee!!!!"

So we sent the really cool dude an SMS notifying that she had gotten it, and he replied, "Yes I know. I saw her walk in. Haha. Thanks for all your help." So nice of him not to mention my jumping about and swooning and spying on her like a sampatfour. :P

And while we were punching in his purchase he was on the phone arranging for some boat ride. Can you say, "WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"? Amazing Race-style proposal. The man is a genius.

I think pastry and love are meant to go hand-in-hand. Bakerella did something nice for this couple. SHO CUTEEE.

***

I saw Wanyi and Jeffery in MV today. :)

***

Thankiuuuu Cathy for the translation... It's hard work and I kinda suck balls at it but I loves it! A coupla words were read wrong but since my writing is fugly it's amazing enough you read like, 98% of it right. XD

Cat: Wahhh Jackie you look like a GIRL!!!

Discovery of the century, ladies and gentlemen.

Psst! Cheese In Pour. Hahahahahahah

***

Perverted humour. (NSFW) Go figure.

Artist's a woman apparently, so that's kinda cool.

We need more openly perverted (and funny) women in this world. (i.e. Rumiko Takahashi!) It's only right.

Fave. (NSFW) "I make statues you can f*ck!" LMAO

PS: Now really, if you're gonna act like you have a stick up yer ass after you follow those links then just don't in the first place la ok? You has been warnded.

HELP MEEEEEE D:

My fingers are on fayar!!!

Make the burning go away... *whine*


I shall never cut a million chillies with bare hands ever again. :'(

I Had Nasi Lemak.

For the first time in my life.

Tonight. ^^

I know. I can almost hear the cries of "INFIDEL!!!"

And I'd like to say...

It doesn't taste as bad as when you fart it out. Lol. Yeah 'been avoiding it these past years 'cause of the smell that comes out your rear end a couple of hours after you consume it... XD

But that's not the point! The point is that I made it (:D :D) and made them into adorable little nasi lemak hors d'œuvre thingies à la Boss! (super :D).

Did I mention it's my first time? Did I mention I usually suck at anything involving a flame? Did I mention my usually-cynical brat brother said the sambal I made was awesome? (THANK YOU AMY BEH!!!)

I made awesome-tasting stuff that looks awesome. (Never mind the unoriginality of the entire thing. Beginners have to start somewhere.) :D

I'm sorry. The idea of it all is still sinking in. :D

Ah; the unrepentant self-promoter in me. :D :D :D

Sick of me yet? :P

***

Guess it wasn't a completely wasted day then.

I actually planned to make the nasi lemak hors d'oeuvres for Rosary today, but since all the people were away for Deepavali holidays it was postponed... So much for taking a day off to be somewhat religious for an hour. *shrug*

But who cares! I made awesome-tasting awesome-lookin' stuff! Heeee. :D :D

Come on now, loves. =)

I ain't no hippie.

So kiss and make up before I comes spank ya!! ;P

Kicked In The Nuts.

Poodle A: Hi, are you JessicaAlba*?

Me: Uh, no. I'm Jackie. Are you looking for anyone in particular? =)

Poodle A: Yes, JessicaAlba. I believe she owns the place or something.

Me: Uh... There isn't a JessicaAlba here as far as I'm aware of, I'm afraid. =)

Poodle A: Well there has to be, because she *points at Poodle B* knows a JessicaAlba; so we actually have connections (emphasis on the word) to the store. Who is the owner then? Not you, I suppose?

Me: The owner's name is Chuck*... No, *laughs* I'm not; I help-

Poodle B: *interupts* Tsk no she's just doing SALES lah. *waves hand at me like I'm some fly at a mamak stall and proceeds to sashay out of the store*

Me: Muthafacking bitch. *socks her one*


Yeah yeah only inma imajinasin. -.-''

I hope there's a special place is purgatory for this brand of arrogance and I'll be the one dishing out the cruel and unusual punishments. :D

Strangely enough this kind of thing doesn't happen to my other colleagues; can't help to think if it's because they're older or because it's just me and I'm not doing something right. :S

IF ANYONE HERE DARES TO MENTION "FACE PROBLEM" TO ME YOU'RE GONNA GET ONE TOO. Grr, I said.


**names obviously changed to protect my see fatt. =D


Oh well. At least this person thinks I'm nice. C:

Yes I Google myself to see what people think of my service periodically. Go shove it up yo a$s.

***

OH WHY OH WHY DIDN'T I GO AND WATCH FREAKIN' SURROGATES WITH MOMMY AND DADDY AND PUPU WHY OH WHY

Ah; the missed opportunities of my life. X___X

***

On a lighter note, I cannot believe the PMR babies like, finished PMR! These are like the final batch of younglings whose faces are familiar to me, and will always look like widdle babies to me. :3

Can't believe they'll be freakin' Form 4 next year.

*wistful sigh*

***

Padma honey I'm so so sowiee about Deepavali, I am. :S

Pohtaytoe, Pohtahtoe

Okay. For the record, I like MEN.

Just so everyone's clear on that. Okay? Okay. Good.

Thereisn'tastorybehindthisnoreally

***

Happy birthday to AJ! She's finally as old and ugly and stinky as me. :D

We loves you loads!! (hearts)


***

Sometimes I'm so unforgivably cheesy I wonder if it's even healthy. :)

WAH GOT EARTHQUAKE.

Better not bloody quake all over the place when I cook Friday.

Blender + earthquake = not something I wanna experience.

Wrath Is A Deadly Sin Right?

Sometimes I get so angry, so so angry at stupid people I meet every day.

Until I get tired at being angry so much and wonder if it's all even worth my blood pressure.

"You must learn to calm down, Jackie."

Ah, how true. I remember telling my colleague she shouldn't go looking for this 'cos it's sortof my "let it out" zone - nothing fancy and artsy or intellectual like theirs. So I hides. *sheepish*

Sorry if you ever find it, love. At least I hold in all the profanity at werk. :D

But it's time to let it out again! Or I will probably have to start resorting to smoking pot or something.

I tell you, if you guys are ever, EVER mean to service people, I will cut... your nose off.

Seriously now. *glare*

I know we're not supposed to complain about customers and that would be horribly unprofessional blahblahblah... but c'mon. Cut me some slack. I'm 19. Immature. Hotheaded. You get the picture.

So all the justifying myself will end here. :D

I swear, for the BEST SERVICE IN THE FUCKEN WORLD we give, we just happen to get the WORST FUCKEN CUSTOMERS IN THE WORLD.

Just how fair is that?!

Okay I'm not gonna let anyone hold this against me so I shall now speak theoretically. Oversimplified kind of theoretically.

Here are a number of situations we face on like, a daily basis. I SWEAR.


1.)
"I want you to build me a Ferrari. I want it to be the F40 model, red with custom seats, etc for my girlfriend's birthday. Her birthday is actually today so I'm in a lot of shit already lah actually. So I want it to be delivered to my residence in South Africa by tomorrow morning."

-I'm sorry sir, but that will be quite impossible. It takes (a certain period of time) to assemble one of our cars, I'm quite sure you understand, what with the custom job and all. Also shipping does take (a certain amount of time) so I regret to inform you that we won't be able to take your order. We can, however, (follow normal procedure, get car like every other gazillionaire). Would you still like us to proceed with your order under these conditions?

"No I don't want it to be (like normal procedure)! Why don't you understand, you nitwit, that I want my gf's car by tomorrow! TOMORROW dammit! You don't know how to see dates one ah?! So stupid what kind of lousy company is this!!"


2.)
A man walks into McDonald's.

"Hi. I would like to take swimming lessons please."

-Swimming lessons? Uh... I'm sorry but we are a fast food franchise; we don't offer swimming lessons. We do have our yummy artery-clogging burgers though! Would you like to get a meal for yourself today? *smile*

"What! No swimming lesson! How come ah, your poster got a man wearing swimming attire? I thought this shop got offer swimming lesson! Haiya so misleading! No I don't want burger! Let's see what else your poster got... Oh got clown! Ok two tickets to the circus show please."


3.)
A woman walks into a sushi restaurant.

"Hi waiter! Give me sashimi one set okay. But I don't want it raw ah!"

-*stares blankly* Would you like our salmon teriyaki instead? That's cooked fish. *smile*

"No I don't want whatever teriyucky! I want sashimi! But I don't want it raw! Don't understand ah! Just cook it for me lah! Eeyerr."


4.)
Okay another McDonald's example. I love Mickey D's! Lol.

"Give me a cheeseburger."

-Would you like the McValue Meal?

"I said cheeseburger right. *rolls eyes*"

-Alright one cheeseburger coming right up! Here you go miss.

"Excuse me where are my drink and fries?"

-But you only asked for a cheeseburger. *blur*

"Wah so terrible one the service!"


4.)
Yet another Mickey D's one. XD Can't be more imaginative. Sorry.

"Hi, give me your... Big Mac McValue Meal."

-Coming right up! Here you go. *smile*

"Eh! How come ONE burger only not three? The fries and drink tak sedap lah! Then the "McValue" meal not value dy lor! Eee so disgusting cheat people one."


5.)
McD's! Lol.

"Hi can I speak to the owner of the franchise please."

-How may I help you?

"*so none of your biznes! face* I would like to make an order."

-Oh! That's my job. *laughs politely* So what will you be having today, miss?

"*you dare talk to me, scum?! face* I think I will speak to the franchise owner, thank you!"

They somehow drag the owner out of somewhere.

Franchise owner: Yes?

"I want to order ah, Chicken McNuggets."


6.)
"So what's so special about your Happy Meal that makes it different from other fast food meal sets? Will really make people happy meh?"


7.)
Man walks into a tong sui shop.

"Your ginger syrup soup ah, very sweet one ah?"

-Uh, well it is ginger SYRUP soup, so yes, it does contain sugar. *smile*

"Aiyerr which means very sweet one lah! I don't like very sweet one! Too many calories! And why got sweet potato one! A lot of carbs! Very fattening!"

-*loses temper* Well what are you fucken doing in a frickin tong sui shop then?! What don't tell me you never take sugar or carbs in your life! Take sugar will die one ah! Again, if you don't like sugar why are you fucking asking about fucking ginger SYRUP soup?!?!


Seriously! How can you not want to kill these people?!?! I swear they are really that stupeed! And that's just today's encounters!! I seriously wonder if I can take this in future. If this is the right career choice. Grr.

And I have to deal with a type "Ferrari" in the morning. *whine*



PS: I never lose my temper. I wish I could; but I can only dream of how immensely satisfying that must feel. :(

Only A Man In A Funny Red Sheet.

Why does Blogspot have a picture of a cake next to its logo, lol.

Just some random stuff that's been going through my mind for now...

Even heroes have the right to bleed

• I saw Cheah Huey Miin on the KTM! Hahah I can still spell her name am I awesome or what. :P

• Have you ever wondered what happens to people who deliberately hurt people who love them loads? I hope they go to that downstairs place which is like superhot where they'll be forced to watch Teletubbies re-runs for the rest of purgatory.

• The girl in Art Friend thinks I'm a man. XD

I had this bland casual convo with her (and got a discount! See, being nice pays.) and when we got to introducing ourselves...

Me:
*shakes hand* Yeah hey I'm Jackie. :)

Cheng:
Cheng. Jackie? J-A-C-K...Y?

Me:
I-E.

Cheng:
I-E. Wait. Is that even a girl's name?

Me:
*puffs out chest* Do I look like one to you?

Cheng:
*horrified* You mean... you're not? o__0

She didn't get my joke. :(

Well after that she had to attend to another customer so I never got a chance to reaffirm her of my true gender.

Have you ever had to tell someone, "HEY I'M A CHICK!!!"?

Nope. Betcha it only happens to me.

Anyways just for kicks, would I make an attractive man? *bats eyelashes*

• Eh I tell you a funny story. One minute I was standing on a RapidKL bus holding onto one of those funny yellow poles and the next I was on the floor slumped on my knees with no memory of falling.

...means I terpengsan right? Thank God the certain breed of foreign workers didn't decide they were too concerned for my wellbeing. *shudders*

• OMG OMG OMG HE SAID HI TO ME HE SAID HI TO ME HE SAID HI. LIKE TO ME. AKU. *wheeze* Am I creepy shit or what. :D
  

• No Cammie I am not lying I swear I saw Jay Chou on the bus! He looked this ugly. Exactly.

Well not exactly lah. The shirt inside diff one. But the fugly red-checkered shirt, the I'm-not-sure-they're-eyes-eyes and the kayu expression was like really the same!

I'm sowiee I didn't get his autograph/picture dear. I just couldn't care enough. :P

Am I still invited to your place for potluck?

Herrow Mehdem, wan buy VCD?

Me: Blahblahblah (to a bored-looking Chinese woman) maybeyou'dlovetobuyourshitohyestonsandtonsofourshitblahblahblah

Lady: (accompanying bored-looking Chinese woman) *interrupts, starts pointing excitedly* Hey! Excuse me, but are you Filipino?!!

Me: *amused* Uh, no. What makes you say that? (and I smile perasantedly because hello have you seen Katrina Halili she's hot lor okay. So what if she didn't exactly say I look like her. :P)

Lady: Oh! *a bit malu dy* Because your accent is very Filipino! 'Cause I'm Filipino! Oh, but you don't sound Malaysian... They always have that... you know... accent...? Oknvmthxbye

I didn't mean to make her feel bad!! If only she knew what I was thinking:

WAH YOU MEAN I SOUND SEXY AND SULTRY AND LIKE I'M CAPABLE OF TAKING RIDICULOUSLY GOODLOOKING HAMSAP PICTURES WITH HOT PLASTIC SURGEONS HEEHEEHEE! *twirls hair with silly grin on face* ok yeah yeah she didn't say Halili. :P

Allow me my moment hor. C:

I'm so shameless somebody kick me.

***

I have one word for you: STROOPWAFELS.

Daddy went to Amsterdam, and didn't smoke pot. (What la! Aiyo.) Or eat space cake. *sulk*

But I forgive him.

Because of these.

Oh unholy oversweetened sticky gooey waffle joy. I love thee.

(If anybody says they're sold in Malaysia I will kwai... It means I've been missing them for 19 years!!! Gawd! So don't tell me? Lol)


PS: I have actually no idea what a "Filipino accent" is. XD

Gilerrr

Omigosh what a crazy day! But hopefully it'll be worth it! *fingers crossed* Hee!

Anywhoosers I've been obsessing over


1. translating.

I've been trying to work out Leehom's Chun Yu Li Xi Guo De Tai Yang... (he wrote it himself so maybe it isn't fancy schmancy Chinese.. gua!) the lyrics, their meanings, traditional/simplified versions of each word, "correct" pinyin... All individually typed, searched and squinted for in my trusty DianHua. I am killing myself. Two days, and six lines, and a garbled gist of what I think it means. Lol. Cathy help meeee!!! XD

Last time I had rasckita's subbed YouTube vids to help me but oh nooo... Somebody has to come up with this thing called copyright laws. *sniff*

(Somewhere, inside me, I am foolishly hoping beyond hope that when I finish translating the song I can finally read the first page of my Jimmy Liao book. Talk about biting off more than you can chew! Go ahead. Laugh. Meh.)


2. tickling the ivories!

Or at least doggedly attempting to.

Oh why oh why didn't I continue taking lessons. *whine* Lol. Well I learn now lor okay!

I love Joe Hisaishi's (damn I love ANYTHING he comes up with) Itsumo Nando Demo (Always With You) and Yiruma's (discovered serendipitously!) Kiss The Rain which I have been playing on loop on imeem for the past four hours. :D Isn't there something about a man and his piano. *sighs*

And so I discover my little Yamaha organ doesn't have enough octaves(?) to play the former and I can't bleeding read the sheet music for the latter. I'm not smart enough. Yet. :P

Won't someone get me a chantek Clavinova for Christmas? Please? Maybe I'll only play 3 songs a year on it but I'll appreciate it mucho.. Weally I will. :3


3. doodling!

I have crap days, then not-so-crap days.

I wonder if I'll ever draw anything resembling what it's supposed to be. :S

But it's okay. Picasso is famous. For what reason I will never fully understand. Why am I not famous?!! Lol.

Naw. It makes me happy to see a face peeking out of a sheet that was previously blank - I have a God complex I suppose. *shrug* Look, a Stick Man. :P

Next I shall attempt to draw Zuko nekkid firebending. Yeah.

***

I seriously don't know whether to love or hate imeem. *flips a coin*

***

PS: I really really like Shihlin Taiwan Street Snacks' Sweet Plum Potato Fries. Like a lot a lot. They're so goodddd *nomnomnom*

Sometimes I really can't tell what's right or wrong anymore.

It Breaks My Heart

I've noticed that it's too much of a coincidence to be real.

Every day, around the time I get back from work, there are these tudung-clad ladies with children on their laps, one right outside the Mid Valley KTM entrance and another one at the Kuala Lumpur station crossover bridge.

They will sit there for hours in the icky nasty humid KL evenings (and nights too) with a paper cup (for alms) in front of them.

The children change, so I doubt they're really theirs. I doubt they're even local.

Still! It's so horrible! The first time I saw the MV lady she was holding a BABY. WTF?!?!

Just wtf is wrong with these people?! How sick can they get?! They're gonna screw up the kid's life before it's even a year old?

Every day when I see her I have to restrain myself from giving her one good kick in the face and taking the kid and running away as fast as I can... (yes inma imajinasin I wear red Sorellas on the outside) Obviously that won't do much good lah, but yeah.

OMG why isn't anyone doing anything?! It's so unfair! What the heck is Kebajikan doing? What the heck is the Where are the effing parents?!

Now the MV lady holds a cute little girl with curly hair tied in pigtails. And watches over an adorable little boy sitting a little further away.

The kids in her lap are usually asleep, which brings me to imagine the horrors that they might have like, spiked the kids or something. *gasp*

What's gonna happen to them when they grow up? Does anyone even care?

What can I do? But whine about it here? And pretend that it actually makes a blinking difference?

*sigh* One can feel so helpless at times.

***

I was supposed to call sexy/geeky Lawyer Man today, but I chickened out and SMS-ed him instead.

Hello I cannot call hot customers while having perverse thoughts about them owhkay.

Well at least my name will forever be written in the inbox of his heart... *twirls hair* I think la. XD

***

I really want to go toast those pecans now. Okbye

***

Like eww. But it shall not ruin my beautiful pecans.

Lingering Thoughts of You

Stop it.


Stop it...


Stop!!


Stop hah.


Stop it I say!


OMG STOP EEEET

Obviously I should start working at a gym/health/slimming centre instead.

I was gonna randomly ask which one I should start on first but since I found my pecans... Muahahahah. ^^

Fuck You Katie M.

I am so pissed off it's not funny.

I freakin hate the freakin KTM.

It is perhaps the most unreliable piece of crap public transport I have ever had the misfortune to take.

Bleeding thing left us stranded between Tiroi and Seremban station for God-knows-how-long. I took the 8 o' clock and should have been home by around 9, but I reached home at 11! Whee!

Not to mention since the engine broke down, we had to jump 5 feet off our train onto the gravel and monkey up the 'rescue' train. Thanks for the James Bond experience guys.

Some joker on the train said, "Hey! I guess this means we can celebrate Merdeka on the KTM? Malaysia Boleh!!" Har har.

Speaking of which here's wishing you loves a happy 52nd Merdeka! ;)

***

PS: I deeply apologize to Sista Jen, should she read this; but I really have curbed most of my potty mouth habit, I have! It's just that I can't swear at schmancypants customers, Dad has this newly-enforced rule... It's just gotta be let out sometime, y'know? :P

PPS: I feel the need to cook (edible food) tomorrow. I don't know what, but I will. *rubs hands with glee* Teehee!

PPPS: Anyone know what macarons or bagels taste like? These sure are purty. :3

I Feel Like A Whore.

No offense to the oldest profession in the world, but sometimes this job just makes me feel like a prostitute.

Doing all sorts of things you wouldn't normally do, putting on that Barbie expression on the whole day, behaving so preppy it makes you wanna hurl...

And then... this.

I feel... so dirty, so soiled, so... cheen kark.

All for the sake of sales and return customers.

-.-''

It's so disturbing I have a mental image of myself in fishnet stockings and platform heels puffing at a fag underneath a streetlamp on a corner.

I keep looking at the sales sheet and I feel this MUTHAFUCKING HUGE BOUT teensy weensy twinge of jealousy when I can't match up to his sales. Not even close. Rawr.

Try as I may it never comes close? This kiasu feeling is so strange, so alien; so not me!

Doesn't change things though. :(

Buy this shit. Buy this shit. Ohhh buy this shit.

Pweety please. :3

***

Tried my hand at lor mai fahn and kong jang yesterday. I must say the first is getting more and more edible with each passing try, but as for the second... well, I just don't like soybeans. Yeah. :P

I love the sauce though, so maybe I'll do groundnuts next time. :)

***

Did you know people put anchovies on pizzas? Like, ikan bilis anchovies? It's like so weird right! Tasted pretty cool though. :) Yay Alexis!

(Pardon me if I sound really dumb; seems like everyone has heard of anchovies on pizza 'cept me. Xd I'm just excited lor.)

Who's Your Daddy.

Hi guys. This is Ben*.

Ben* is mine.

*I totally did not name him whilst fantasizing about a near-perfect married man of the same name.

I Update!

Only because I don't want a lingering "angwy" post. That reminds me of screechy women.

Because to be fair, they have reduced significantly in number this week. I saw more of the customers I know and love, and sales this weekend are so awesome I OT'd two days in a row just because I was feeling high. :D

Hoo-lay for overtime!

If only staring at pages and pages of printed stuff made me just as high. :(

***

I'm so frustrated with not having fondant to play with. So I found an alternative.


Say hello to my mooncake-filling bunny. At least I think he looks like one.

Gawd I cannot take photographs. X/

.

.

.

.

.

Look, a ninja.

"I no lyk Chan Pui Yok plaivertaising her blok bcos cannot leed flom opfis."

*scowl*

Oh my gawd!!

I is so angry!!!!

I have had just about enough of these rich, spoilt-brat tai-tai's.

Just because you freaking married a freaking titled man and live a freaking glam life and have a freaking sprawling residence and a hundred freaking attendants at your command does not give you the freaking right to treat me like an underprivileged dog who can't count for beans.

That's one thing. The other is undermining my trustworthiness and sense of responsibility. I may not be the shining example in either of these aspects, but I did freaking triple-check your order okay. Not only did I freaking triple-check your order; I asked one of your freaking dogs who came and did the pick up to check and reconfirm; which he did!!

So how can you insist that it's not his fault and purely mine?!

Okay. Maybe some things are my fault. Like I didn't ask your dog for proof of purchase. He could have been a fake, then I would really die. And I didn't call you and ask your dog to reconfirm over the phone. And, I apologised too quickly (a stupid instinct when I'm pressured), truly believing for about two minutes that I really did screw up. So now it really does look like I'm lying and trying to twist the story. *bangs head on wall* Yeah, so in that sense, I really am dumb.

Still!!! The dog confirmed ok! For all you and I know he dropped it/smushed it/got hungry/his kid ate it/went shopping and left it somewhere and happily lied to you about it! Or, he left it in the car; I really wish I could see your face after the party when you find it there.

But it's not like you're gonna call and apologise for being a screechy psycho bitch right?

No, of course not. Screechy psycho people rarely have any manners. They only call people to scream at them.

GAWD!! You'd think etiquette and good manners would be equivalent to the amount of money they bleed out. So not! They're just bored assholes with lotsa cash who take sick, perverse joy in dominating and bullying regular people.

So sial I tell you!!! *huffing and puffing*

Eeeeeee!! *geramnye*

My colleagues and Daddy said my face looks like I wanna kill somebody. Hee. But I do. *cracks knuckles*

So geram!! Grr. One day Leehom-baby is gonna make Tan Sri and then I will go round scolding rich kids for no reason at all other than to feel shiok.

Grr.

***

(*edit)

Memo to myself: Spend off day translating in-store FAQs so I can get them Canto-speakers to buy stuff. *evil grin*

I got no life. :D

Boo!

I'm doing a tag!

Willingly! And just a tad overdue.

But this has been a heck of a day for me (my poor dear self does not know anything about banking, and well, scheisse hit the kipas) and this is exactly the kind of time-wasting nonsense I need for therapy. :)

And it's all about Leehom-baby! How could I not. :P

***

Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 17 of your friends here in facebook (or blogger :D) to answer this. Then see what happens.

if you a guy- post this as MY KIND OF GIRL.
if your a girl- post it as MY KIND OF BOY. (heh.. no.)


1.Do you need him/her to be good looking??
Well, I am shallow... Lucky for me he looks like this.

No complaints so far. :)

2. Smart?
That's nice. As long as he doesn't act it in front of me. My ego is BIG.

3. Preferred age?
Anything works, as long as his teeth and hair are all intact. Do find the thirtysomethings particularly attractive though. :D

4. Preferred height?
*measures self* I think my kids would benefit from some not-so-vertically-challenged genes, if you don't mind.

5. How about sense of humor?
Mestilah!!

6. How about piercings?
As long as they aren't in a spot that makes it difficult for me to do my thang. :P

7. Accepts you for who you are?
Still looking for the one who doesn't run away screaming.

8. Pink hair?
No. Not that desperate.

9. Mushy or no?
So long as we're floating around in that oxytocin cloud, I doubt anything he does/doesn't do will annoy me. :)

10. Thin or fat?
No anorexics. Ego, remember. I like 'em meaty! *grins*

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
Let's take it from hot chocolate and graduate in the direction of latte. Currently very in the mood for banana smoothies. :P

12. Long hair or short hair?
If men were meant to have long hair, they'd be the ones swishing their Rapunzel locks on Pantene commercials.

13. Plastic or metal?
I take it that I have to choose between surgically-enhanced hotness and Gene Simmons. What would you pick?

14. Smells good?
I'd like my man to smell like a man. Soap, shampoo and MAN. That's all I need.

15. Smoker?
His thing won't work and that would make me cranky.

16. Drinker?
As long as he doesn't have to be dragged home pantsless by his buddies everyday.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
I never actually knew what this means. The "boy-next-door" to me is Mr. Ng, happily married grandfather of six. So I think I'll pass.

18. Musically inclined?
OH YES.

19. Plays piano?

CAN YOU SAY NO?

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
How you know ah.

21. Plays violin?

*dreamy sigh*

22. Sings well?

You mad ah.

23. Vain?
If he starts recommending me moisturizers...

24. With glasses?
I'm okay. :)

25. With braces?
Not right now, whatwith me having a fence across the face meself.

26. Shy type?
No. Sweep me off my feet. Be forceful. Take me for a ride. I like it that way. ;P

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
I don't want a pastor.

28. Active or passive?
Active. Please. I have more than enough passiveness to last two lifetimes.

29. Tight or bomb?
?

30. Singer or dancer?
I'm not picky, seeing as to the fact that I can't join him either way.

31. stunner?

Why can't these girls keep their hands to themselves... *grumble*

32. Hiphop?

Not exactly my cuppa but if it makes him happy he's branching out into new things *shrug*

33. Earrings?
That's a bit ghey... But it's no biggie.

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
That'd be something I'm better off not knowing. =)

35. Dimples?

Say no to this face. Try.

36. Bookworm?
I know being intellectual is wonderful and everything, but I find it hard to be turned on by a man who finds printed papers more interesting than I am.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
No balls ah weih?

38. Playful?
As long as he has no problems being serious when the situation calls for it. But yeah, goofballs are definitely cute. :)


39. Flirt?
The boy can try. *takes out frying pan*

40. Poem writer?
*thinks Saraswati* Umm, pass.

41. Serious?
Not all the time.

42. Campus crush?
Why not.

43. Painter?
What does he paint? *grin*

44. Religious?
Like he'll wake me up every Sunday and insist that I visit the Lord's house? *shudder*

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
If it gets repetitive and annoying it loses its charm... As long as he knows when to pull the plug.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
Neither... How about a techie or a gaming freak? That's somehow more useful. RAVING RABBIDS!! *waves Wiimote* :D

47. Multi-lingual?
Tak payahlah. As long as he can speak England I'm OK. A splash of Canto here and there would probably take the cake though. ;)

48. Loyal or faithful?

Who is that whore?!!

49. Good kisser?
Yeah, who'd want one of those. :P

50. loves children?

Hawt dayum themanisflawless!!!

***

Ahh. A poor excuse for a Leehom-saturated post.

Therapeutic indeed. :)