WAH GOT EARTHQUAKE.

Better not bloody quake all over the place when I cook Friday.

Blender + earthquake = not something I wanna experience.

Wrath Is A Deadly Sin Right?

Sometimes I get so angry, so so angry at stupid people I meet every day.

Until I get tired at being angry so much and wonder if it's all even worth my blood pressure.

"You must learn to calm down, Jackie."

Ah, how true. I remember telling my colleague she shouldn't go looking for this 'cos it's sortof my "let it out" zone - nothing fancy and artsy or intellectual like theirs. So I hides. *sheepish*

Sorry if you ever find it, love. At least I hold in all the profanity at werk. :D

But it's time to let it out again! Or I will probably have to start resorting to smoking pot or something.

I tell you, if you guys are ever, EVER mean to service people, I will cut... your nose off.

Seriously now. *glare*

I know we're not supposed to complain about customers and that would be horribly unprofessional blahblahblah... but c'mon. Cut me some slack. I'm 19. Immature. Hotheaded. You get the picture.

So all the justifying myself will end here. :D

I swear, for the BEST SERVICE IN THE FUCKEN WORLD we give, we just happen to get the WORST FUCKEN CUSTOMERS IN THE WORLD.

Just how fair is that?!

Okay I'm not gonna let anyone hold this against me so I shall now speak theoretically. Oversimplified kind of theoretically.

Here are a number of situations we face on like, a daily basis. I SWEAR.


1.)
"I want you to build me a Ferrari. I want it to be the F40 model, red with custom seats, etc for my girlfriend's birthday. Her birthday is actually today so I'm in a lot of shit already lah actually. So I want it to be delivered to my residence in South Africa by tomorrow morning."

-I'm sorry sir, but that will be quite impossible. It takes (a certain period of time) to assemble one of our cars, I'm quite sure you understand, what with the custom job and all. Also shipping does take (a certain amount of time) so I regret to inform you that we won't be able to take your order. We can, however, (follow normal procedure, get car like every other gazillionaire). Would you still like us to proceed with your order under these conditions?

"No I don't want it to be (like normal procedure)! Why don't you understand, you nitwit, that I want my gf's car by tomorrow! TOMORROW dammit! You don't know how to see dates one ah?! So stupid what kind of lousy company is this!!"


2.)
A man walks into McDonald's.

"Hi. I would like to take swimming lessons please."

-Swimming lessons? Uh... I'm sorry but we are a fast food franchise; we don't offer swimming lessons. We do have our yummy artery-clogging burgers though! Would you like to get a meal for yourself today? *smile*

"What! No swimming lesson! How come ah, your poster got a man wearing swimming attire? I thought this shop got offer swimming lesson! Haiya so misleading! No I don't want burger! Let's see what else your poster got... Oh got clown! Ok two tickets to the circus show please."


3.)
A woman walks into a sushi restaurant.

"Hi waiter! Give me sashimi one set okay. But I don't want it raw ah!"

-*stares blankly* Would you like our salmon teriyaki instead? That's cooked fish. *smile*

"No I don't want whatever teriyucky! I want sashimi! But I don't want it raw! Don't understand ah! Just cook it for me lah! Eeyerr."


4.)
Okay another McDonald's example. I love Mickey D's! Lol.

"Give me a cheeseburger."

-Would you like the McValue Meal?

"I said cheeseburger right. *rolls eyes*"

-Alright one cheeseburger coming right up! Here you go miss.

"Excuse me where are my drink and fries?"

-But you only asked for a cheeseburger. *blur*

"Wah so terrible one the service!"


4.)
Yet another Mickey D's one. XD Can't be more imaginative. Sorry.

"Hi, give me your... Big Mac McValue Meal."

-Coming right up! Here you go. *smile*

"Eh! How come ONE burger only not three? The fries and drink tak sedap lah! Then the "McValue" meal not value dy lor! Eee so disgusting cheat people one."


5.)
McD's! Lol.

"Hi can I speak to the owner of the franchise please."

-How may I help you?

"*so none of your biznes! face* I would like to make an order."

-Oh! That's my job. *laughs politely* So what will you be having today, miss?

"*you dare talk to me, scum?! face* I think I will speak to the franchise owner, thank you!"

They somehow drag the owner out of somewhere.

Franchise owner: Yes?

"I want to order ah, Chicken McNuggets."


6.)
"So what's so special about your Happy Meal that makes it different from other fast food meal sets? Will really make people happy meh?"


7.)
Man walks into a tong sui shop.

"Your ginger syrup soup ah, very sweet one ah?"

-Uh, well it is ginger SYRUP soup, so yes, it does contain sugar. *smile*

"Aiyerr which means very sweet one lah! I don't like very sweet one! Too many calories! And why got sweet potato one! A lot of carbs! Very fattening!"

-*loses temper* Well what are you fucken doing in a frickin tong sui shop then?! What don't tell me you never take sugar or carbs in your life! Take sugar will die one ah! Again, if you don't like sugar why are you fucking asking about fucking ginger SYRUP soup?!?!


Seriously! How can you not want to kill these people?!?! I swear they are really that stupeed! And that's just today's encounters!! I seriously wonder if I can take this in future. If this is the right career choice. Grr.

And I have to deal with a type "Ferrari" in the morning. *whine*



PS: I never lose my temper. I wish I could; but I can only dream of how immensely satisfying that must feel. :(

Only A Man In A Funny Red Sheet.

Why does Blogspot have a picture of a cake next to its logo, lol.

Just some random stuff that's been going through my mind for now...

Even heroes have the right to bleed

• I saw Cheah Huey Miin on the KTM! Hahah I can still spell her name am I awesome or what. :P

• Have you ever wondered what happens to people who deliberately hurt people who love them loads? I hope they go to that downstairs place which is like superhot where they'll be forced to watch Teletubbies re-runs for the rest of purgatory.

• The girl in Art Friend thinks I'm a man. XD

I had this bland casual convo with her (and got a discount! See, being nice pays.) and when we got to introducing ourselves...

Me:
*shakes hand* Yeah hey I'm Jackie. :)

Cheng:
Cheng. Jackie? J-A-C-K...Y?

Me:
I-E.

Cheng:
I-E. Wait. Is that even a girl's name?

Me:
*puffs out chest* Do I look like one to you?

Cheng:
*horrified* You mean... you're not? o__0

She didn't get my joke. :(

Well after that she had to attend to another customer so I never got a chance to reaffirm her of my true gender.

Have you ever had to tell someone, "HEY I'M A CHICK!!!"?

Nope. Betcha it only happens to me.

Anyways just for kicks, would I make an attractive man? *bats eyelashes*

• Eh I tell you a funny story. One minute I was standing on a RapidKL bus holding onto one of those funny yellow poles and the next I was on the floor slumped on my knees with no memory of falling.

...means I terpengsan right? Thank God the certain breed of foreign workers didn't decide they were too concerned for my wellbeing. *shudders*

• OMG OMG OMG HE SAID HI TO ME HE SAID HI TO ME HE SAID HI. LIKE TO ME. AKU. *wheeze* Am I creepy shit or what. :D
  

• No Cammie I am not lying I swear I saw Jay Chou on the bus! He looked this ugly. Exactly.

Well not exactly lah. The shirt inside diff one. But the fugly red-checkered shirt, the I'm-not-sure-they're-eyes-eyes and the kayu expression was like really the same!

I'm sowiee I didn't get his autograph/picture dear. I just couldn't care enough. :P

Am I still invited to your place for potluck?

Herrow Mehdem, wan buy VCD?

Me: Blahblahblah (to a bored-looking Chinese woman) maybeyou'dlovetobuyourshitohyestonsandtonsofourshitblahblahblah

Lady: (accompanying bored-looking Chinese woman) *interrupts, starts pointing excitedly* Hey! Excuse me, but are you Filipino?!!

Me: *amused* Uh, no. What makes you say that? (and I smile perasantedly because hello have you seen Katrina Halili she's hot lor okay. So what if she didn't exactly say I look like her. :P)

Lady: Oh! *a bit malu dy* Because your accent is very Filipino! 'Cause I'm Filipino! Oh, but you don't sound Malaysian... They always have that... you know... accent...? Oknvmthxbye

I didn't mean to make her feel bad!! If only she knew what I was thinking:

WAH YOU MEAN I SOUND SEXY AND SULTRY AND LIKE I'M CAPABLE OF TAKING RIDICULOUSLY GOODLOOKING HAMSAP PICTURES WITH HOT PLASTIC SURGEONS HEEHEEHEE! *twirls hair with silly grin on face* ok yeah yeah she didn't say Halili. :P

Allow me my moment hor. C:

I'm so shameless somebody kick me.

***

I have one word for you: STROOPWAFELS.

Daddy went to Amsterdam, and didn't smoke pot. (What la! Aiyo.) Or eat space cake. *sulk*

But I forgive him.

Because of these.

Oh unholy oversweetened sticky gooey waffle joy. I love thee.

(If anybody says they're sold in Malaysia I will kwai... It means I've been missing them for 19 years!!! Gawd! So don't tell me? Lol)


PS: I have actually no idea what a "Filipino accent" is. XD

Gilerrr

Omigosh what a crazy day! But hopefully it'll be worth it! *fingers crossed* Hee!

Anywhoosers I've been obsessing over


1. translating.

I've been trying to work out Leehom's Chun Yu Li Xi Guo De Tai Yang... (he wrote it himself so maybe it isn't fancy schmancy Chinese.. gua!) the lyrics, their meanings, traditional/simplified versions of each word, "correct" pinyin... All individually typed, searched and squinted for in my trusty DianHua. I am killing myself. Two days, and six lines, and a garbled gist of what I think it means. Lol. Cathy help meeee!!! XD

Last time I had rasckita's subbed YouTube vids to help me but oh nooo... Somebody has to come up with this thing called copyright laws. *sniff*

(Somewhere, inside me, I am foolishly hoping beyond hope that when I finish translating the song I can finally read the first page of my Jimmy Liao book. Talk about biting off more than you can chew! Go ahead. Laugh. Meh.)


2. tickling the ivories!

Or at least doggedly attempting to.

Oh why oh why didn't I continue taking lessons. *whine* Lol. Well I learn now lor okay!

I love Joe Hisaishi's (damn I love ANYTHING he comes up with) Itsumo Nando Demo (Always With You) and Yiruma's (discovered serendipitously!) Kiss The Rain which I have been playing on loop on imeem for the past four hours. :D Isn't there something about a man and his piano. *sighs*

And so I discover my little Yamaha organ doesn't have enough octaves(?) to play the former and I can't bleeding read the sheet music for the latter. I'm not smart enough. Yet. :P

Won't someone get me a chantek Clavinova for Christmas? Please? Maybe I'll only play 3 songs a year on it but I'll appreciate it mucho.. Weally I will. :3


3. doodling!

I have crap days, then not-so-crap days.

I wonder if I'll ever draw anything resembling what it's supposed to be. :S

But it's okay. Picasso is famous. For what reason I will never fully understand. Why am I not famous?!! Lol.

Naw. It makes me happy to see a face peeking out of a sheet that was previously blank - I have a God complex I suppose. *shrug* Look, a Stick Man. :P

Next I shall attempt to draw Zuko nekkid firebending. Yeah.

***

I seriously don't know whether to love or hate imeem. *flips a coin*

***

PS: I really really like Shihlin Taiwan Street Snacks' Sweet Plum Potato Fries. Like a lot a lot. They're so goodddd *nomnomnom*

Sometimes I really can't tell what's right or wrong anymore.

It Breaks My Heart

I've noticed that it's too much of a coincidence to be real.

Every day, around the time I get back from work, there are these tudung-clad ladies with children on their laps, one right outside the Mid Valley KTM entrance and another one at the Kuala Lumpur station crossover bridge.

They will sit there for hours in the icky nasty humid KL evenings (and nights too) with a paper cup (for alms) in front of them.

The children change, so I doubt they're really theirs. I doubt they're even local.

Still! It's so horrible! The first time I saw the MV lady she was holding a BABY. WTF?!?!

Just wtf is wrong with these people?! How sick can they get?! They're gonna screw up the kid's life before it's even a year old?

Every day when I see her I have to restrain myself from giving her one good kick in the face and taking the kid and running away as fast as I can... (yes inma imajinasin I wear red Sorellas on the outside) Obviously that won't do much good lah, but yeah.

OMG why isn't anyone doing anything?! It's so unfair! What the heck is Kebajikan doing? What the heck is the Where are the effing parents?!

Now the MV lady holds a cute little girl with curly hair tied in pigtails. And watches over an adorable little boy sitting a little further away.

The kids in her lap are usually asleep, which brings me to imagine the horrors that they might have like, spiked the kids or something. *gasp*

What's gonna happen to them when they grow up? Does anyone even care?

What can I do? But whine about it here? And pretend that it actually makes a blinking difference?

*sigh* One can feel so helpless at times.

***

I was supposed to call sexy/geeky Lawyer Man today, but I chickened out and SMS-ed him instead.

Hello I cannot call hot customers while having perverse thoughts about them owhkay.

Well at least my name will forever be written in the inbox of his heart... *twirls hair* I think la. XD

***

I really want to go toast those pecans now. Okbye

***

Like eww. But it shall not ruin my beautiful pecans.

Lingering Thoughts of You

Stop it.


Stop it...


Stop!!


Stop hah.


Stop it I say!


OMG STOP EEEET

Obviously I should start working at a gym/health/slimming centre instead.

I was gonna randomly ask which one I should start on first but since I found my pecans... Muahahahah. ^^