Saturday, November 27, 2010

何ですか?

It's not so much a compromise - it's acknowledging that while you have your desires and your right to be upset, your thoughts and actions also affect others other than yourself, and that they deserve to be taken into consideration too. Sometimes it's okay to let go, so that others can have a turn at uncomplicated bliss, which is never truly without the expense of someone else. Looking back, in your young life, having never felt less than happy and unaware, do you not think it's time to take that step into adulthood, and let those who have been responsible for your happiness feel the way they have been letting you feel for such a long time, for a change?

It's only grateful. Fair.

Once you understand that everyone should have their turn to be allowed to feel that way. That the kind of happiness most taken for granted is the kind that we don't even know we're feeling. Then you start to see who is responsible for your happiness. The kind that is uncomplicated, free.

It came that way because of the sacrifices someone else made. Swallowing back hurt or emotions. Spending less so you can have more. All the time never telling you about it so you won't have to worry. All for you.

It's only right that now that you can see this, that you take a deep breath and do the same, for them. Sometimes it involves doing things that defy the logic of self-interest, but you know that it is the right thing to do. These are the things that nobody can teach you, that you can only discover for yourself in the course of your life. Even if you came to understand a little later than others, and you have only begun to scratch the surface, you must take pride that you have grown up, if just a little.

I've always thought I knew how to love. Not exactly. Having discovered this one facet of it makes me realize how much of an effort it is to develop such a deep and complex relationship with another human being. And despite the sheer amount of work involved, everyone seeks it. Everyone needs it. And so they have, and will, for eons to come.

I don't think I'm ruining something so instinctual and natural by over-analyzing it. I believe, when you take the time to understand something, even if not entirely, you learn how to appreciate it better, and it becomes even more beautiful. Even if it's not always rainbows and butterflies. Because you have to acknowledge something to exist to appreciate something else. How can there be light without darkness?

Push and pull. Give and take. The tide. The wheel. Up and down. Peaks and vales. It's all the same, don't you see?

2 comments:

meioninosis said...

Deep stuff Jackeh... deep stuff..

-:-Jackie-:- said...

omg you still stalk me! heehee *hugs*

hmm by "deep" do you actually mean u have no idea what i'm talking about lol