In recent days troubles that have fallen upon close ones were made known to me.
Human beings are strange creatures. We are completely rational in theory. At any other time we display recurring acts of irrationality. But one of the plus points of having friends is that when you are in shit and your thoughts are clouded by anxiety, you have people who love you and you can rely on who are removed from the situation, and can therefore give you the clarity that you cannot access by yourself in that current state.
In role-playing a rational person, I suddenly realize that the lot of sense that I was spewing was actually true and completely sound, not to toot my own horn.
I don't know what it's like for other young adults my age, but this point in life, for me, is a period of self-examination. Figuring out what the big picture is.
One of the things I said was that whenever life seems a little too hard on you, treat it as a lesson, and a test, you have to both learn and overcome, quickly. The funny thing about life that it seems that retakes are always harder than the first time you have to face it. If you didn't respond quickly and efficiently enough last time, if you sidestepped it, or chose to avoid it altogether - the next lesson will be like a boulder to the face.
The problem is, we don't like change. Most of us, anyway. But whenever I was uncomfortable, out of my element, struggling - I made progress. Lots of it. And even if it felt weird and awkward and uncomfortable and I really didn't want to do it in the beginning - I was really, truly proud of my accomplishments. Kinda like leveling up in a game. And then I look bad and laugh at how silly I was not minutes ago.
It seems odd that we want so desperately to 'grow up' - to live on our own, earn our own dollars and spend it the way we want, be wild and go to dodgy places like clubs, experiment with and indulge in numerous questionable stimulants, but we want to whine and not be adults when faced with the responsibilities of growing up.
This is a note to myself - that whenever life seems to get a little too hard, it's a sign for me to step up my game, and I will rise to it. Scared and ridiculous as I will be, I will do it. It's going to be hard and I will feel really awkward, but it's completely necessary if I am to become a better me. I am willing to shed the deadweight parts of my inner child. I will grab life my the balls and emerge the victor!
Because there are things worth fighting for. Yourself.
By the way, Scott Pilgrim is ridiculous. And awesome. :D
